Living A Paradox

Verse 2 of the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu articulates the “paradoxical unity”, illustrating that we live in a continuity of opposites, existing independently while simultaneously operating in conjunction. He clarifies eloquently that opposite ends of the pendulum rely upon each other and have no power without each other. Simply put, difficult things are seemingly more difficult when there has been ease, and easy things are more simplified when there has been difficulty. From the therapeutic perspective for example, I know when a client informs me that they are “depressed” that they know what it is to be without depression’s presence. Without that understanding, they could not identify a changed state into “depression”.

It is much easier for us with our “rational” minds to operate in a dichotomous way of thinking. Adapting the mentality that things must be “this/that”, “always/never”, “black/white”, etc allows us to move through the world with a false sense of certainty and understanding. We decipher that if someone or something is not good, then it must be bad, eliminating the potential for it to be anything outside of the binary. We have judgmentally restricted possibility for the gray.

Taking this a step further, in addition to opposites existing separately and together, is the existence of everything that is in between also occurring simultaneously. This world that we live in holds everything that we have grown to love, everything that we do not, and everything we are impartial to. The shifts we acknowledge are based solely upon perspective, dictated by past perceptions we have processed and assigned our own crafted meaning to. These meanings, even if implied or instructed by others, are also approached from within and uniquely individualized. Their actuality however, does not shift; simply our understanding shifts. As things occur and present moments become past, they are seemingly long gone, However, they are now etched in history, remembered or forgotten, and can now never be altered or undone. They are impermanent and forever. And, what has sustainable continuity is our opportunity to change our connection with what has occurred. So though a memory of any kind: a person, a place, an event, etc is over and forever, we can construct new relationships with what has happened regularly.

What is seemingly a way to a more positive life experience then might be a more positive way of thinking. It is what it is, so just look on the bright side! Except the “look at the bright side” mentality, unfortunately, is not an adequate portrayal of reality and is also potentially dismissive to our experience. Considering the perpetual paradox, the glass is half full AND the glass is half empty. Both are true and looking at solely either is not an accurate depiction of the whole glass.

So what is next then? What about the problem? What about the solution? I would like to offer the idea that there is no solution and that there is no problem. “It is what it is” and though that is concrete, our acceptance is what is negotiable. We move through the earth among what we love and what we despise with difficulty and/or ease and everything in between based upon our relationship to said movement. How many of us have dropped our keys and not given it a second thought before picking them up and moving on, yet on a separate occasion dropped said keys and cursed the world’s existence as they hit the floor? Our involvement with all things including ourselves is permanent with each passing moment and presently ever evolving. Thus possibility for newness is stable and endless, nor a problem to be solved but rather a life to be lived.

So as we live in the paradox, who do you want to be, how do you want to feel, and what do you want to do?